Why?
by Blood on the Sakuras
Summary: ...Why? Why did they abandon me? Why did they stop paying attention? Why did they leave me to suffer alone? Why did they lead me to these problems? Why did they make me do this? Why did they leave? Why did they make me do this to myself?...Why?


**Why?**

**Disclaimer: I don't Hetalia **

**Warning: self-harm**

**A/N: Hi...so I really don't know why but I feel like writing another angst about my fav character in Hetalia... Iceland. And please don't blame me if I get any of the facts wrong here. Oh and in this story Mr. Puffin won't talk. Please Review!**

Iceland's POV

I watch them. I watch them, their every move. Why? And who? Because I'm always the one left out... The 'outcast'. And if you're wondering... I'm talking about my so called 'family', the Nordics. Finland , Sweden, Denmark and Norway.

Oh... Ever wondered why I NEVER call Norway 'Onii-chan'? That's because...1. I absolutely HATE calling Norway onii-chan, he never seemed like a big brother to me and he left me, HE LEFT ME! With Denmark...2. Were not even Japanese, why 'Onii-chan'?

Norway left me with Denmark when I was young. And before that, I was an open book I was like any other toddler. Happy, care free, and I enjoyed life. I was just a young toddler and I opened my eyes for the first time, and...a puffin found me. We soon became friends and he followed me around. Then... He found me...he said he would be my big brother and he would take care of me. But that's was a lie. Sure the first centuries were awesome, I believe that I had the best life in the whole wide world cause I had Noway, Denmark, Finland and Sweden. But then... Things happened and soon.. All of a sudden i am with Denmark. Norway left me... And ever since then I have shut my self in. I never show any emotion anymore. is the only one I trust. But sadly he can't talk.

So I always watch them... From the shadows of course, I'm practically INVISIBLE to them. Sure they invite me to a nordic meeting once in a while but they don't pay attention to me, Finland and Sweden are always flirting, so are Norway and Denmark.

But ya know at least they don't notice my scars. My scars I got from cutting myself. Not battle scars. The smooth metal slide across my skin and I rip my skin. And blood comes out. The blood reminds me that I am still here on earth and I am still human. It is what reassures me at the end of the day. It is what keeps me sane. It is what calms me. But ya know...

Sometimes I just want to yell and scream at the top of my lungs " I'M STILL HERE!" but no I act like everything's just fine and pent up my anger. I know that will release all of that anger one day, but till then I want them to try and figure out.I left them clues. I have bags under my eyes, the less food I have been eating, less visits. But they are too oblivious in there own problems. I used to hate attention when I was younger, but now? I wish I still had it.

...Why? Why did they abandon me? Why did they stop paying attention? Why did they leave me to suffer alone? Why did they lead me to these problems? Why did they make me do this? Why did they leave? Why did they make me do this to myself?...Why?

Have they ever ask themselves, " Oh why did Iceland shut himself from the outside world?" or " Why does Iceland not want to call us big brother?". They never even asked " Hi Iceland how was your day?" to me.

It's terrible. How I feel right now. I hate that they ignore me. I hate the fact that they don't notice. I hate that I'm in the shadows. I hate that they try to me me say the dreaded 'Onii-chan'. I hate that I feel like I don't belong in this world.

We are supposed to be a family. But for me I don't have anybody. Even if they call me their 'family', it will not change of my point of view. Here's what family should be like.

Forever

Always there no matter what

Makes others feel better

I love them is what you are able to describe to other people about them

Loves no matter what

Your closest group of people that you trust

That is what family should be. But for me? No I don't have a family. I'm always alone... When will I find someone who understands? I wonder. Probably not in a few centuries. I wish I could just find someone that will understand and we will help each other get though this pain. But that won't happen...

People tease me. About Norway and me being his brother. They are not trying to hurt me. I know that (I think)... But is it true? Are they not trying to hurt me? Sometimes it really hurts. It does. But I sit back and let it happen anyway. Why? Cause people are getting a laugh out of this, right?

I wish I didn't have to go through this... And I don't want anyone else to go through this ether... But I have no control over it...

My last question is...Why?

Why?


End file.
